<> Hope Addict Anonymous

Hope Addict Anonymous

February 8, 2007

closing

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find me here http://linalani.blogspot.com

February 5, 2007

The Kite Runner

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‘For you, a thousand mile over’ - said a friend to another.

It has been a while since a book could make me cry. So, this book took me by surprise. I have had it for a few months, shelved among my to-be-read list. I picked it up last Saturday and took it home to PD, just in case I get bored when he goes fishing with his brothers. I opened it, got hooked by the first sentence and couldn’t put it down.

It is a story about love, courage and cowardice. The love and courage was easy to understand. Everybody loves courage, everyone covets it.

It is the cowardice that grabs me, of how one learn to live with it, learn to accept the coward in him and learn to convert it into courage at the end of it, of making it through when God gave him a second chance.

It takes another kind of courage to live with cowardice.

I cried, once at the middle of the book and once more at the end. And I cried all over again when I reread the book. Right after I finished it the first time.

(photo from www.khaledhosseini.com)

February 3, 2007

Fish for a day!

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Our mailbox was full of advertisements & flyers of warehouse sales everywhere. Starting on Thursday, which was a public holiday in both Selangor & federal territory and stretching over the weekend. Timberland, nike,adidas. LG, sanyo, samsung. I would have loved to go browsing, if it wasn’t for the nightmare of a traffic jam hanging over such a holiday. Shudder….

Instead, we opted to leave the kelang valley for a day and went fishing with some friends. We left early after loading our cargo into the car.

Ours: cucumber sandwiches, banana chocolate chip cake and mineral water.

His: fishing rod, assortment of baits, cans of redbull.

Hers: Torey Hayden’s One Child.

It took about an hour to get there. The silence of the morning accentuated the scenery along the way. This was what we passed through on our way.

The highland air was cold & crisp, I inhaled bountifuls of it, preparing for the hike up. Walking up to the campsite on a dirt road flanked by high shrubberies, I could hear the gurgle of the water getting louder and louder until it became a roar. I took a peek through the folliage of trees and this was what greeted me.

A few minutes later, we arrived at our campsite. We took about fifteen minutes to set up camp and off the guys went to fish while the ladies supervised the children. They had shrieked with delight at the sight of the waterfall, and was impatient to get in. As were the adults.

The water and the rocks.

The angler

The book

(picture from www.torey-hayden.com)

Catch of the day

Fresh ulam picked from the ground

I sat on the rock with my book and feet dangling in the cold water. I daydreamed about a house with a nearby stream I had a good day. I wish for more.

~Hope you had a great holiday too!~

January 30, 2007

Time to Make a Change….

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Sunday 28th January 2007

It has all the making of a gloomy Sunday. At eleven am, the sky is a dull grayish color, I am sitting for my first meal of the day, the weighing scale gave out a terrible squeak when I stepped on it just now and a cold tiff is brewing between Himself and me. To top it off, I am on call for hospital duty. Well, maybe the last one is blessing in disguise. Work is good. Work is a panacea for all ills.

Himself left early this morning for his weekend classes without a goodbye, prolonging the silence for another five to six hours. Not for him the screaming and yelling to vent his anger and resentment. He just retreats into silence, to mull and regurgitate. Later he would come to me with his conclusions and an apology whenever one is warranted.  I, on the other hand would want to discuss it there and then, all my anger and frustrations. Spewing forth all my anxiety and agitation. Of course, later I would cool down and feel stupid and almost always have to apologized for screaming. So I learned to live with the impassiveness of the moment. After almost three years of marriage, I learned to regroup and rethink.

But I digress….

After Himself left, I was too wired to go back to bed and have a sleep in although I had stayed up late last night to write that posting for Rad. So, I spent the morning unproductively blog hoping. Something I have not done in a long time. In a way, it was therapeutic, I must say. There are others out there with more than a sullen Sunday and a marital tiff to contend with.

Hunger got the better of me at around eleven. I showered and primped hurriedly before driving to the nearest McD. I could feel myself cheering up at the sight of the Double arches. I parked the car and was contemplating the menu…would it be double fillet-o-fish or Big Mac or Double Cheese Burger ..when I saw my reflection on the glass door of the restaurant. This is what I saw – an overweight makcik with baggy pants, baggy blouse, a hurriedly thrown on tudung and a pair of comfortable slippers. With no trace of lipstick or powder on.  What have I done to myself? Why did I let myself go like this?

 

(photo from post secret)


 

I walked in and asked for coffee instead of the double fillet which I loved so much. I went to a corner seat and sipped my black, sugarless coffee and looked around me. It was time for brunch. I watched young couples walked in with their toddlers and infants in strollers. Most of them were freshly showered, with their hair wet and clinging to the back of their shirts. I could smell baby talcum when they walked past me. It was Sunday, the day for sleeping in. Old couples entered with their grandchildren, resplendent in jubbahs and baju melayu and kain pelikat. My theory is that they had just finished after-suboh-Sunday classes at the nearby mosque. Young ladies sat close to their boyfriends, looking lithe and low-maintenance in figure hugging leggings or track suit. Upstairs a birthday party was coming to and end. The shrieks and laughters drifted downstairs followed by the children running noisily down. Their parents followed a little while later. Mostly in jeans and t-shirt. Casually dressed but showing off their glowing health. Mothers were tall, slim and energetic.

As I lift up the Styrofoam cup, my elbow hit the soft fleshy love handle inside. Darn! People watching is definitely a better option than facing the issue at hand. Envy gnawed at me, inferiority complex kicked in. That was when I decided, enough is enough, and it was time for a change!

~Hope~ once u choose it, anything is possible! - Christopher Reeves

January 28, 2007

BuRN it BaBy, BuRN it!!

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A posting for the soon to be wedded Rad:

Rad’s wedding is approaching fast, in November, but if you chat with her, it would seem like November is ten years awayemoticon…ahhhh… the impatience of newly found love! And this has incite an urgent desire to lose weight, in me as well …a girl has to look good on her good friend’s wedding day, doesn’t she? That got us talking about dieting. As I am the one in the health industry, she asked my opinion on a proper and healthy diet. Speedy result is a necessity of course, being overweight can hurt more than your looks.

Well, I have been on a diet numerous times. I have no problem with diets, it is the sticking to it part that makes my life hell, and the lives of those closed to me, of course. My frequency of mood swings is inversely proportionate to my blood sugar level I think, so anytime you see me morose and turning into a shrew, give me some Hershey’s Kisses

and the world would be a better placeemoticon   Physician heal thyself!

I am no expert on Atkin’s, Cambridge and what-not diet, but I do know one type of diet that would surely work.

So,  here goes:


In our daily live, we need energy for every little thing we do (output). We need it for walking, running, and talking. We use energy to breath, to digest food, to move the smallest muscle in our body and even to sleep. The energy that we accumulated comes from the food we ingested (input), of course.

The problem with overweight people is that we have too much unused energy, probably from over eating as well underutilizing. These extra energy is stored in the in the form of fatsemoticon.

The math is simple:


 In order to maintain body weight, output of energy must be equal with the input.
Input – Output = 0 ( no excess energy burned from our fat store)

To lose weight, the output of energy must exceed the input.

Input – Output = -x (this excess energy comes from the fat we burn from our store, thus making us lose weight)

Let us concentrate on the input first:


All group of food supplies a specific amount of energy in equivalent portion. For example, a gram of fat would give  9 Kilojoule of energy while a gram of carbohydrate would give us 4 kiloJoules. Calorie counter for common food in Malaysia are easily available now and we can accurately know how much calorie a piece of 400g roti canai or a bowl of nasi lemak has. This will enable us to know how much calorie we are ingesting everyday by adding up each meal’s calorie intake.

If we want to lose weight, our calorie intake should be less than what our requirement are so that we can used up the fats in our body to supplement the deficit in our intake.
Our recommended daily requirement for a sedentary life such as mine is 35kCalories per kg of body weight. For a more active life, you will need a higher calories intake.

Now the output:Output is the amount of energy we used up.

As a living being, we are constantly burning energy with our daily activities. This is what we call basal metabolic rate (BMR). In some lucky individuals with high BMR, the energy is burned faster and in larger quantity compared to those with lower BMR.
In addition to the BMR, our daily activities also require energy. The more active life we lead, the more energy we burn. The more sedentary our life is, the more energy we store. Therefore, to burn more energy, we have to have more activity. The calorie counter can also provide a list of how much energy is required for certain activities. Walking for a mile, running, doing housework etc. Just look it up and choose the activities you like to do and make a note of how much calories it will burn.

Let us say we have a friend called A, who has to lose weight. Let us now calculate how much energy A can take and how much energy A has to burn to lose 1-2 kg per week.

  • A’s weight : 70kg
  • A’s ideal weight : 50kg
  • A’s daily activity : sedentary
  • A’s daily energy requirement: 35kC/kg body weight
  • A’s aim of weight loss: 1-2kg per week , therefore A has to take a diet with 500kC less than her daily requirement.
  • A’s daily energy requirement : (35kC x 70kg) -500 = 1950kC (let us round it up to 2000kC for easy calculation)
Now, this 2000kC that we have calculated has to be spread out into the number of meals A will have for the day. I would suggest we take small frequent meals to avoid severe hunger pangs. We will divide it into six meals. Now, refer to the calorie counter and choose the food that can supply that amount of energy per meal. One important caveat of dieting, choose a low calorie type of food such as protein and fibers to provide bulk to the diet and make a filling meal. Some examples are:

  • Breakfast : 300kC ( a piece of toast with a ¼ tsp of butter, coffee with no sugar, an apple)
  • Morning tea: 150kC (a cup of tea with ¼ cup of low fat milk, a low fat cracker)
  • Lunch :800kC ( a bowl of plain rice, a portion of fried chicken, a portion of mixed vegetables, plain water and a fruit platter)
  • Afternoon tea: 150kC ( 250mls of low fat milk, I portion of cake)
  • Dinner: 500kC ( a plate of chicken salad, a slice of banana, plain water)
  • Supper: 100kC ( 125 ml of low fat milk)

In order to increase intake, so that we could eat more, we must increase our output. This can be done with exercise, for example a one-mile brisk walking can burn up to 300kC. The thing is, in order to lose fat, we have to exercise in such a way that it will burn the fat. Therefore, in exercising, we start with a good warm up for 5 minutes, then the aerobic exercises for about 15 minutes that uses sugar as energy and then work our way up to anaerobic exercise. The anaerobic phase will occur in the next 15 minutes or so and will burn the accumulated fat. Then we cool down for 5 minutes. (Just buy one of Denise Austin’s aerobic DVD and do that over and over again, at least three times a week).

Easier said than done, I know! But it is doable! Supplement it with puasa ganti, nazar and sunat and a lot of window shopping (avoiding the food section and restaurant floor, of course), I’m sure the pounds will drop off. The thing is, it needs discipline. So Rad, are you up to the challenge?

~Hope: at first we have too much of it, later not enough of it

January 27, 2007

The Curse of the Wronged Woman: Langkawi Revisited Part 2

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We started the next day early, by watching the sun rising over the jetty. We had a leisurely breakfast after which we headed off to Kuah for our shopping expedition! I let loose with my credit cards and only the fear of overdoing the luggage limit stopped me from buying and buying. Sanity returned! After a simple lunch by the roadside, we headed on towards Tanjung Rhu.

I have never missed this beach in all my visits to Langkawi. Somehow, it beckoned me to make that long trip from our resort to the other end of the island just for the enchanting view even for only a few minutes. On our way back, we stopped by the MARDI Agrotechnology Park hoping to get some real nice fruit to take back, but the drought had taken its toll on the fruit trees. We also went to Mahsuri’s tomb where the legend was commercialized to the maximum. AL-Fatihah!

That night we went fishing at the jetty. The waters were calm and soothing. Conversation flowed easily. This is the island life; everybody wakes up at five in the morning and goes to bed at ten in the night, no hustle, no bustle, just routine that makes life simpler and calmer.

 

All too soon, the third day arrived and we were packing our bags to make the trip home at noon. Waking up to the same sun but different sunrise we went to a small village for breakfast and then made our way to the Field of Burnt Rice for some last minute shopping.  The Field of Burnt Rice is a historic place. There were wars in the northern state in the early 1800 and Langkawi was not spared, the arched enemy was Siam. It was here that a big battle took place killing hundreds from both side. The Siamese burnt the padi fields all over Langkawi making the curse of Mahsuri worse. It was in this place that some of the remaining burnt rice could be seen after hundred of years.When we we there I couldn’t really see the left-overs but there was a nice house there that depicted a Malay architectural design. The path that lead to the house and the remaining field of burnt rice was lined with shops selling batik, minyak gamat and souveniers, I was looking for some dried anchovies to take home but couldn’t find them so I made do with chocolates instead.

We board our flight at 2 two pm and reached LCCT at three-fifteen. As we touched down, I reflected the state of Langkawi now as compared to Mahsuri’s time. Despite her curse on the island, Langkawi is now a booming tourist attraction in this region. If only she could see her island now…….

~Hope is putting faith to work when doubting would be easier~

January 25, 2007

The Curse of the Wronged Woman: Langkawi Revisited part 1

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Legend has it that a long time ago, a fair maiden, beautifully named Mahsuri, lived on Langkawi Island. She was the fairest of them all. Her beauty, charm, etiquette and intelligence was comparable to none other, and as the legend went, Mahsuri married the most coveted eligible bachelor on the island and borne him a son. They lived a charmed life and that became the source of envy and jealousy amongst the other woman in the island. There was no wicked stepmother here but the villain was the brother-in-law’s wife and among all the women on the island, she had the means and the power to execute a plan that was the downfall of Mahsuri. She somehow concocted a devious plan that implicated Mahsuri as having a torrid affair with another man while her husband was away fighting in a war. Infidelity and illicit sex was the bane of the society and the act was punishable by death. Unable to prove her innocence while she was alive, Mahsuri proved it with her death by bleeding ‘white blood’ that shot in the air when she was stabbed by her executioner. There were lightning, thunderbolt, and storms accompanying her tragic death and she swore on her last breath that nothing can be grown, no animals can be reared, and there would be famine and drought repeatedly on the island of Langkawi (’padang jarak padang terkukur’)  for the next seven generation.
It had been more than a hundred years since then and the 7th generation has come and passed. Langkawi Island is now a federal territory and besides being a duty-free island, it boasts of white beaches and numerous small islands for fishing, diving and underwater activities, and thus attracting thousands of local and overseas tourists each year. It has always been my favorite holiday spot because of the mixture of old and new attraction, village and urban life, east and west culture and food, the sun, sea, beaches, the choice of seafood and cheap car rental. Not to mention that Air Asia has made traveling there cheap and relatively easy and the resort corporate rate was inductive to keep me coming back year after year………

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I recoiled from the heat emanated from the tarmac at the Langkawi Airport as we made our way to the air-conditioned arrival terminal. Amazingly, while the southern states were experiencing the worst flood in a hundred years, and a red alert issued on the rest of the country due to extremely heavy rain, Langkawi remained hot and dry. Maybe the curse of a wronged woman was still very much occurring.

After securing our luggage and rental car, we took a slow drive around the small island. Nothing much has changed since I was last there which was last year. It was too early to check in at our pre-booked chalet so we went to the small jetty just at the back of it and spend a good hour admiring the view of the sea. Boats were docked there with their engines hanging out and their Malaysian and Kedah flags were flying in the sea breeze.

 

 

The small coffee shop just next to the jetty was haphazardly put together; giving it a rundown look with the overhanging and leaky roof, but the lunch they served there was marvelous, consisted of rice, kampong vegetables, and freshly caught fish and cuttlefish. It also offered fishing, island hopping, eagle feeding and jet skiing trips. The proprietor, who called herself Mak Long was a small built woman with a penchant for heavy jewelry. Gold was dripping from her wrist, ears and neck. She was also a wealth of information on fishing and island activities, which she dispensed generously to whoever cared to ask. We sat there whiling the hour away sipping the after-lunch tea, which was thick and sweet, inducing a post-meal stupor like nothing I had ever known before.
After a long and relaxing siesta, we drove to Mount Mat Cincang where the famous Langkawi Cable Car awaits. En route, we passed by the Petronas Quay and the view from the roadside forced us to stop. For the life of me, I could not tell a catamaran from a yacht or a boat from a schooner, but I know the contraptions docked there were expensive and very much different from the ones we saw earlier at Mak Long’s. It was a scenic waterfront and brought back memories of Manly in Sydney, which I visited years ago. Such opulence does exist in our country! It would have been nice to stop and have tea at the waterfront café but I was too embarrassed even to suggest it, as I was such a glutton at lunch just now.

 

 

We continued our way to the cable car but a wrong turn took us to the Seven Wells instead. I was too lazy to make the climb up the steep hill to the Wells and the guide justified that point when he told us that the waterfall nearby was dry and we would be able to see them better from the cable car anyway. Instead, we sat down for a nice bowl of ‘laksa’ (rice noodles in sour fish broth) and coconut juice amidst the quaint little shops that display their souvenirs interestingly.

 

 

The trip up and down the cable car was not for the faint hearted but it was worth every sen we paid for. Literally being at the top of the world, one could almost touch the clouds. The heightened experience rocked! The top of the trees formed a carpet of greeneries, and in contrast with the blue water, the scenery was breathtaking. There was also that bridge built across two mountaintops. The downhill climb to the bridge was rather easy but I was huffing and puffing on the coming back trip. However, the experience alone was worth every drop of sweat! It was an engineering genius and deserved the accolade it demanded.

We spent the evening watching the sunset in Langkawi from the balcony of our apartment. It does not matter how many times you have watched the setting sun, or where you watched it at, it will always make you think of the greater powers behind every rising and setting sun.

 

 

~Hope to continue with Part II soon!~

January 23, 2007

HeRe I aM aGaiN….

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I’ve been away for far too long, I have forgotten why I started a  blog in the first place. Things, people, work and events caught up with me and I lost focus for a while. Like everything else in my life, the blog got neglected and now I found that I could not access it anymore…some major glitch in the GooGLe WoRLd… for which I apologized to my friends who take time in their busy schedule to read all the crappola written there…..I will do better here, I promise.

Suddenly the new year is here. It caught me by surprise. I have not finished all I wanted to do last year. I have not done all things that I should have.I am guilty of procrastinating..so shoot me!!! The resolutions however remain resolute…am still hoping to contribute to world’s peace, less pollution, more proactiveness and remaining graceful in the face a calamity..I haven’t had time to think of new ones for 2007, but they will come to me, am sure of it.

 The New Year started with having family around. It was a long holiday beginning from Christmas. They had the run of my house for almost a week. We cooked, ate, talked, and joked around jovially. We took trips to two different waterfalls in the space of two days. It was a hectic time; it was a busy time with children running around in my otherwise quiet household, of teenagers sulking and adults shrieking and laughing at one stupid joke after another. It was a time for family and loved ones and I know one wish I have for the New Year AND Maal Hijrah…to have more family and more family times!!

Happy New Year , Selamat Maal Hijrah everyone!!

“ Hope sprang eternal`






















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